addiction,  mental health


the windy night, hot and dusty, holds me back from taking a deep breath

sometimes i look out into the dark road and wonder where you went

as i walk past the cookie-cutter houses with the gaslights, i wonder if the shadow i see behind the curtains may be you

i lost you along time ago

you left with a rush, replaced by the internal demon that grabs a hold at night

squeezing my breath, suffocating me into silence

i hear your footsteps behind me, thudding hard on the hot ground

i see my breath

this time i dont look back

i know you’re here to stay, you never intended to go away for good

your plan was to drop in here and there, make sure i knew you weren’t too far behind me

i got used to you once, got accustomed to your presence, lingering like a shadow following every step i take, but i thought i lost you

i thought you left for good, you decided you were sick of the game, you decided to find someone else to play with, but i was always your favorite game

i was always the one who never gave in easily, i always pushed back, i always fought you, i always screamed and now…

now i’m tired and you know that

now you know i won’t fight as hard, i wont resist you

i wont resist you until i collect all the pieces, all the little tools that you took from me along the way and dropped on the path

ill let you have your fun for now, but just wait, two can play a game and i can play better

you see, i fight with teeth and claws and wit and even though i’m tired, i’ve learned from you

i learned just how strong i am, because you did it

you created a monster and now you’re going to fight it

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