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harceleuse
the windy night, hot and dusty, holds me back from taking a deep breath sometimes i look out into the dark road and wonder where you went as i walk past the cookie-cutter houses with the gaslights, i wonder if the shadow i see behind the curtains may be you i lost you along time ago you left with a rush, replaced by the internal demon that grabs a hold at night squeezing my breath, suffocating me into silence i hear your footsteps behind me, thudding hard on the hot ground i see my breath this time i dont look back i know you’re here to stay, you never intended…
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new diagnosis vs. old thinking
I got a new diagnosis this week of Agoraphobia (ag-uh-ruh-FOE-be-uh) is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless or embarrassed). I always thought my intense fear of going out in public was my anxiety, but a new doc said it’s classic agoraphobia, which makes a lot of sense. The funny thing is, my thinking has changed, but since getting this new information, my brain automatically thought it was panic mode again. I had a huge meltdown (aka panic attack) and instantly thought I was broken. Why didn’t I think I was…
